To be prepared is half the victory

The Spanish poet/novelist Miguel de Cervantes wrote "To be prepared is half the victory".  If this is true then I am almost certainly half way to defeat.  Since "planning" this trip in January (and when I say "planning", what I really mean is agreeing to it and then letting Alice do everything...) I have set and subsequently failed to achieve a number of objectives to prepare myself for this journey.

Objective 1: Getting fit
Goal:  To walk for one hour, three days a week, with an additional two hours on a weekend.  At five hours per week, that would have put me at a total of 120 hours by now.
Actual Performance:  Commenced walking plan last weekend, walked for two hours in total.  That is about 1.67% of target.
Justification:  I walk everyday.  Each morning and evening I brave the treacherous 800 metre journey from Admiralty Towers to Waterfront Place.  The Inca Trail is about 57 kilometres.  So it will just be like walking to work 72 times over four days. Simple.  Stories of "really fat American's" who have made it are encouraging.

Objective 2: Learn Spanish
Goal:  To enrol in, and attend, a course of Spanish lessons, such that I have a basic grasp of the language by the time I land on the South American continent.
Actual Performance:  I enrolled in an 8 week basic Spanish program.  I managed to attend 5 of these 8 lessons.  Certainly some room for improvement here.
Justification: Having attended private speech and drama lessons for several years while at school, I believe I am sufficiently qualified to get by by treating the entire trip as one big game of charades.  From the 5 lessons that I attended, I have managed to remember the following phrases:

• "No tarea" - Each lesson began with the teacher asking us to show our 'tarea' or 'homework'.  I responded with 'no tarea' each week.  I don't even think that makes sense grammatically, but the disappointment on her face suggested she understood.
• "Uno cerveza, por favor." or "One beer please".  I didn't actually learn this at the Spanish classes.  This was more a result of recalling the word 'Cerveza' from being printed on Corona beer labels.
• "Buenos tetas y culo". or "Great tits and arse!".  Once again, not part of the curriculum at 'The Spanish Cat Language School'.  The origins of my knowledge of this phrase are hazy, but I believe they involved Michel Brun translating phrases for us to say to a waitress that we presumed was South American while at Fridays Nightclub.

Objective 3: Get a passport
Goal: To apply for and receive a valid Australian Passport within 10 days of booking the trip.
Actual Performance: Approximately four months later, and only after an email from our friendly travel agent "Rhys" with the subject "URGENT! URGENT! URGENT!" did I actually achieve this. Rhys has certainly earned his commission on this journey.
Justification: My life is full of clients failing to respond to my requests for them to provide information. Why should Rhys's life be so easy and stress free!

So armed with my language skills, fitness, and appropriate travel documentation, it is time to gear up for the trip.  Being new to the travel game, I was not prepared for how expensive this would be!  Let's take a look at what I have acquired:

Drugs
No, not the illicit kind.  I hear there is already plenty of them where I am going, and with the strength of the Aussie dollar I would be stupid to buy them here.  Best to buy them and use them in the foreign country, it's not like that has gone wrong for any Australian's travelling overseas before has it?

The drugs I refer to are my various potions the travel Doctor assured me were essential to my trip, at a cost of $150.  I must say, that I do feel like that was great value for my money, just look at what came in the pack!

This smorgasbord of drugs includes tablets to stop diarrhoea, start diarrhoea, prevent pain, re-hydrate, stop nausea, prevent travel sickness, prevent altitude sickness.  Along with the several hundred dollars worth of vaccinations germs should beware of coming anywhere near me.

Travel Gear
When I walked into Kathmandu today and told their friendly sales assistant "Courtney" that I needed to buy EVERYTHING for a six week trip to South America, and that I would need it today, it was hard to tell whether the excitement in her voice was her mutual anticipation of the joys my trip would bring, or the fact that with only 1 hour to closing time I was probably about to fill her entire weeks sales quota in one transaction.  Half an hour later, I walked out with $800 worth of goods including a $300 jacket, $200 hiking shoes, money belt, thermals, a sleeping bag liner, and a seemingly endless supply of socks (she really pushed these hard... must be struggling to move them).

So if nothing else, I will certainly look the part on my journey.

Now the question on everybody's lips by now must be "But what are the details of the trip?".  Well, I'll tell you.

The trip
Originally flying to Auckland, and then Santiago de Chile on Tuesday, the presence of a rather persistent ash cloud threatened to completely derail the trip.  Fortunately, it appears we will be able to make it to our destination by first flying to Tahiti.  I am more than happy for the ash cloud to descend on Tahiti and prevent my departure from there!

The first half of my six weeks will be on a tour.  You can read more about it here:  Homeland of the Incas.  The tour will take me from Lima, Peru through to La Paz, Bolivia encompassing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, and the hillariously named 'Lake Titticaca'.

From La Paz, we fly over to Buenos Aires in Argentina.  Other than 2 days at Iguazu Falls, this part of the trip is largely unplanned (at least to my knowledge).  The objective here is to consume my own weight in steak, washed down with a lot of red wine!  (I will be sure to report back on my performance at this objective, and suspect I will be a little more successful than in my preparation objectives).

What I am looking forward to

• Not having to go to work for six weeks is an indescribable feeling!  I think travelling to remote parts of the world with limited connectivity may have been a little excessive to get away from it, but you can never be too careful.
• Steak, wine, and beer. Pretty self explanatory.
• The scenery - the photos I have seen so far look amazing. Machu Picchu should be stunning (if I don't collapse during the walk.)
• Not having to go to work

What I am concerned about

• The number of references to 'basic' accommodation in the trip notes, with no showers, hot water, heating, or electricity. Not being known for my willingness to 'rough it', the "mudbrick house" with no showers, or heating and "shared drop toilet" is of particular concern.
• The Department of Foreign Affairs not so rosy assessment of my safety while in Bolivia and Peru. Notes such as "The use of tear gas and force to control disturbances is common." are slightly alarming.  I will be getting KRudd's number on speed dial to fly in and save me.
• Walking 57 kilometres at several thousand feet above sea level.  This may be the stupidest thing I have done in my life, and I have done a lot of stupid things.  Maybe I can pay one of the porters to carry me.

So, that is the end of my first blog post.  It may be overkill for a six week journey, but I've never been known as one to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself, and this will be a good way of letting mum know that I am still alive!