Kill-A-Man-jaro (Part I)

Anyone wondering why it has taken so long (and honestly, it has been only a day!) to update this, should refer to the following receipt:



18 beers makes for a pretty good afternoon… and after walking to ~6km altitude every one of them was well deserved!  (For the record, my favourite African beer so far is Serengetti… I think…)

In an effort to avoid any complications which might arise from extended time in Africa (i.e., food poisoning) affecting the climb, we decided to tackle the mountain first up. This was all reasonable until Simon’s bag did not made it to Kilimanjaro with us.  Fortunately it arrived at approximately 8am on the first day of the climb (our second day in Africa), giving him a precious 30 minutes with his belongings before we were picked up by our guide at 8:30.

Broadly I intend to summarise each day.  Given it was a 7 day trek, I may need to span this over two blog posts, but we’ll see how my stamina holds up.  We are taking the Lemosho route up Kilimanjaro.

Day 1

Today’s “hike” consisted of a two hour drive, then lunch, then another one hour drive to the start of the walk, my kind of hike.  Enroute to the gate (where we would also eat) we stopped to pick up the porters, they weren’t ready.  While waiting I noticed that they have jacaranda trees here, and they are flowering, shudders went down my spine as I remind myself I’m no longer at UQ, and these beautiful flowers no longer warn of pending exams for which I am ill prepared.

We stand around waiting for the porters for a while, little did we know this would be indicative of things to come.

Lunch at the gate was impressive.  Most people were given a packed lunch box with sandwiches, cakes, biscuits, a popper (they have really stupid shaped poppers here, pyramid shaped, very impractical) etc.  Simon and I notice our porters setting up a table and chairs with a tablecloth, and various condiments.  Everyone is wondering what royalty this is being prepared for, turns out it is for Simon & I.  Brief guilt is overcome by hunger and we sit and eat.

After lunch we wait, and wait, and wait… At least 2 hours pass by and other groups ship off to the starting point (another hours drive away) in their 4WDs.  Apparently our porters wrote their names down incorrectly, and somehow this has caused a delay.  When we finally set off, our crappy van is incapable of driving through the thick mud caused by recent rain, and stirred up by the other tourists in their high powered 4wd vehicles.  So instead of a comfortable 1 hour drive, we commence walking to our camp.

The track was muddy and steep, through thick rainforest, and we barely make it to camp before dark.

This guy makes me feel guilty that I am finding it steep and tricky, by doing the whole thing balancing a pack on his head:

Safety Moment

It is common practice in the resources industry, of which I am now part, to start meetings with a safety moment or safety share, where you try to avoid future ‘unsafe’ behaviour by sharing your own experiences or observations of unsafe behaviour. I think it is prudent to bring this practice to the blog.  Today we have 3 safety observations:

1. Be attentive when your guide is explaining what a stinging plant looks like.
2. Carefully assess all logs before placing your bag on them.
3. Ensure your camera has a lanyard attached to it at all times.
4. Monkey's are always out to cause you problems.

Our guide, Musa, pointed out a stinging plant.  I was distracted by god knows what (I appear to be very bad at listening to him).  Later on we were taking a break and I put my bag down on a log while going to answer natures call.  Said log was apparently home to an army of ants.  After brushing what I thought was most of them off we continued on our merry way.

A few minutes later we spot a monkey, this monkey:

At this very moment, several of the ants I had missed coordinate a simultaneous attack on my chest, neck, and stomach (right in the belly button!), causing me to drop my camera in the dirt.  While retrieving it I inadvertently walked through the stinging shrub, causing a pretty sharp pain on my left leg.  I survived, lesson learnt. Stupid monkey with its stupid tail’s fault really.

Toilet report

The night before our trip, a representative of our tour company came to see us.  He asked if we were sure we didn’t want to purchase the western toilet for the hike.  I could barely believe the words coming out of my mouth as I said ‘no, that won’t be necessary’, especailly given the fact that through the use of gastro-stop I basically avoided all bowel movements for the 4 days of the Inca trail.  But it was said, and Simon had concurred, so it was done, and we would be utilising the drop toilets the whole way.

Toilet’s at Lemosho Forest Camp were a relatively good introduction.  I shall assess toilets on four objective criteria:

1. Smell – not the worst, certaintly better than South America
2. Diameter – large, makes for a less stressful experience as aiming is not as necessary
3. Bench – a bench for toiletries (paper, wipes, dettol handwash) is useful, but not present here
4. Means of stabilisation – None, walls are a long way away, you are going to have to rely entirely on your quads/glutes to get you through this one.

So Forest Camp scores a middle of the range 2/4 for toilets, no need for the gastro-stop binge yet.

Day 2

Didn’t sleep well last night, Diamox makes this difficult by forcing multiple night time urination tasks.  Fortunately it’s not too cold yet as we are only at 2700m.  I awake, emerge from our palace, ready to tackle the day.

Absolutely breathtaking scenery today.

The lush rainforest seemed to change into moorlands in only a matter of meters.

Along the walk, Musa shows us a plant that cures, not aids/alleviates/soothes, but CURES 28 different diseases.  Amongst them, none other than Malaria, which western medicine still struggles to deal with.

Why did I spend $7 a tablet on anti-malarial tablets which ‘may’ prevent it, when I can drink a nice cup of tea which will cure it?  A cruel twist of fate, the malaria mosquitoes are too lazy to fly to this altitude, so you would never need to test this cure.  Not sure what other diseases it cures… probably cancer and AIDS.

Here are some other random plants I photographed in an effort to appear interested in whatever I was being told about them, but I can’t remember.

There is time for me to test the pith hat's camouflage abilities (see if you can tell which of the following photos I am in):

Today we were given a packed lunch, because we wouldn’t be camping at the first camp site we walk through (Shira 1) but continuing on to Shira 2.  It was supposed to be warm today, so I am wearing shorts, and a quick dry, cool, hiking shirt.  It was absolutely bloody freezing!  Simon and I have set a cracking pace, which means we arrive at the half way point before our porters. Our guide tells us we have to wait here because we can’t get too far ahead of them, and wait we did.  Eventually we are given a cup of hot milo for our troubles, and the porter carrying our duffel bags allows me to retrieve my jacket.  Sipping on a warming drink while the wind blows the sweet aromas of the nearby drop toilets, how’s the serenity?

Over in the distance our porters appear to be having a cracking time, glad they are enjoying themselves.

We finally depart, and walk across the Shira Plateau.  A wide expanse of lightly foliated landscape, untouched by man, peaceful, you just feel so disconnected from the rest of the world… except for the fact that there is apparently a road, and a car driving along it… this ruins the mood slightly.

Why am I walking here if I could have driven (this is bringing back memories of the glorious train to Macchu Picchu).

Today gets colder and colder, it is exciting at one point to see our shadows because the sun is out

We arrive at camp, Shira 2, and it is raining.  Our porters are standing around, with a look of ‘how the hell did they get here so soon’, so there’s no tent ready.  We stand in the rain and stare at them, as they do the same back.  Nobody is happy about the situation, but soon enough Musa gets them cracking and the tent is up.

Toilet report

1. Smell – still reasonable when compared with South America
2. Diameter – tiny!  These toilets require maximum accuracy!  Very stressful stuff!
3. Bench – still no bench provided, but have a system involving jacket pockets  now which appears effective
4. Means of stabilisation – Still not really present, but walls are probably close enough if you wanted to touch them.

So this one technically only gets a 1/4.

Pro tip – if you use them early in the morning, most of the unidentified liquids on the ground have dried and its almost clean.  For the first time ever, I think it’s actually females who are making the mess around a toilet seat, as most men are using shrubs.

I appear to have commenced having some sort of drop toilet anxiety, manifesting itself in quite severe nightmares.  These involve me being unable to maintain my squat and falling in, or in one terrible vision my headlamp accidentally drops off my face into the hole and is shining up at me and I desperately need to fish it out as we are only moments away from commencing our final ascent.  When I awake from this dream I quickly locate my headlamp to confirm it’s not true.

Day 3

Colder still.  We commence our walk up to the lava tower, which is at 4600m.  The wind is strong, and the fog is so thick we can’t actually see said lava tower. I didn't even bother taking a photo of where it was, because it was just fog.  But I did photograph some icicles.

And fog

A casualty

Alas, we suffered our first set back.  The pith hat, which I am dutifully carrying for that final photo op, suffers a break to its strap, when I attempt to strap it to my head as well as my beanie and my hoodie.  Unwilling to let it go, I risk my life to climb down a rocky slope clutching it in my hands, along with my walking poles.  Eventually Musa tied it to my backpack.  Here we are climbing down and then at the bottom of whatever we were climbing down.  It’s still cold.

Word of advice, walking sticks, entirely useless, and probably more dangerous than they are helpful.  Waste of $140 if you ask me!

We arrive at Baranco camp, one of my favourites.  Despite the cold, this place gives you impressive views of Kili right behind you, and the ‘Breakfast Wall’ which our guide describes as a ‘piece of cake’ sits menacingly to one side.

[Insert appropriate picture of menacing looking wall... hopefully Simon took one, I appear to not have]

Basically today was just so cold I barely bothered taking any photos, and chose instead to protect my hands inside my pockets.

Toilet report

1. Smell – reasonable (can’t believe I am saying this!)
2. Diameter – Back to what I would consider ‘normal’
3. Bench – bench has been provided, very handy!
4. Means of stabilisation – bench also provides a means of some stabilisation to support squatting.

Wow, have we found our first 4/4 toilet!  Well done!  (Note, don’t get carried away with that perfect score, this toilet would score negatively when compared to any other toilet, and in most developed countries would just be destroyed as a bio hazard).

Okay, I am sensing I am losing my touch for today, so I will save part two for tomorrow.  Simon and I have made it safely to Zanzibar now.  We are at the Imani Beach Villas.  The beach here, when compared to Australian beaches, is frankly a turd.  But turd-like as it may be, it is a turd with a bar, and that is okay with me.

I have become quite partial to their Imani Ice Tea (a twist on the classic one, using a dash of mango juice instead of coke!).

This blog will also need to be appended with additional photos from Simon's camera, which like Alice's in South America, is far more expensive and impressive than mine.